3 decisions that will change your life

There’s nothing worse than a rich person who is angry or unhappy. It results from an unbalanced life, one with too much expectation, or blame and not enough appreciation for what’s there.

Without gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. But how do you cultivate balance in life? What’s the point of achievement if your life has no balance? Here are 3 key points from Tony Robbins. He has found that virtually every moment people make three key conscious decisions that dictate the quality of their lives.

Decision 1: Carefully choose what to focus on

We are often bombarded with people wanting out attention or we focus too much on the past. Where your focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on and your pattern for doing so shapes your entire life. Which area do you tend to focus on more: what you have or what’s missing from your life? Take time to examine your habitual thoughts. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have. You can be grateful for your health, family, friends, opportunities and mind. Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and wealth. Consider a second pattern of focus that affects the quality of your life: Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t? If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll have more stress in life. You can influence many aspects of your life but you usually can’t control them.

Decision 2: Figure out, What does this all mean?

Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your financial condition or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things. Most of the time you may be unaware of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events. When something happens that disrupts your life (a car accident, a health issue, a job loss), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning? If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you? Does a devastating problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is a gift from God?

Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally. Ask yourself “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed?” You will find 85-90% of us do. How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. It’s true that antidepressants do come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect. But no matter how much a person drugs himself, if he constantly focuses on what he can’t control in life and what’s missing, he won’t find it hard to despair. If he adds to that a meaning like “life is not worth living,” that’s an emotional cocktail that no antidepressant can consistently overcome. Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then he will be stronger than anything that ever happened to him. When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter someone’s biochemistry in minutes. So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals life. Choose consciously and wisely.

Decision 3: What will you do?  

The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you’re in. If you’re angry, you’re going to behave quite differently than if you’re feeling playful or outrageous. If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering. Two people who are angry will behave differently. Some pull back. Others push through. Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain the upper hand or even exact revenge. Often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your youth and were displeased by. It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them.

So there you have it, now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those who have passionate relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in relationships than people who are constantly bickering or fighting. It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how people approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a permanent positive change in any area of life. I wish you total success!